On Reflection

About every six months I find myself in a place where I try to sort out and make sense of where my life is, and where it is going. Usually this happens at the end of the summer and in the middle of winter. I reflect at the summer's close after a few months of working at camp, and again in winter when I feel far-removed from those experiences.

I think it's that time again.

In fact, I think it's providentially become that time again. A few days ago, I organized the Word documents on my computer. Nothing fancy, I just threw all of last semesters papers and journals into a folder marked for my senior year. As I was sorting, I cam across a reflection I wrote in early September entitled "it's time for this." And I could not, for the life of me, remember writing it.

Now, I guess I should preface this a little. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the things I'm experiencing, and the best way for me to get a handle on things is through typing and typing and typing. It's cathartic. But when I go back to those writings months later, it's usually with some mortification. I get easily embarrassed by the things I write - mostly because I've grown out of feeling those things by the time I go back to them.

Which is why a blog may or may not be a sound choice.

But I digress...so I found this "writing" or whatever and, well, it's good that I found it again. Insightful, I know! But really. I wrote a lot about a subject that I've been encircling in thought and action for years: love. Woah, I know, PROFOUND! What a big deal! But it's true...I've spent a lot of time in Scripture, prayer and discussion over the subject of loving one another, loving God, and being loved both by Him and by others. It's a dizzying thing, after awhile.

While some of the entry is a bit personal, I think I'll be revisiting it and sharing some of the things I'm still sorting out.

In the meantime, however, I need to muster the courage to go to my painting studio. I enjoy painting, but it's been a struggle this semester. I'm floundering for anything meaningful right now; mostly because I'm still trying to sort out where I am, let alone where my art can be. So...we'll see how that goes.