Ugh. I'm home sick today with a cough and some of that "general malaise" that comes with a cold. I don't think it's anything more serious than that, but I figured I'd better rest up instead of spread it around at school to my babies.
Speaking of my babies, they're wonderful. Really, they are. I'm teaching high school kids now, and they're...lots of things. Funny, endearing, ridiculous, lazy, surprising, and sometimes a little crazy. I taught them how to crochet, a task which they picked up (well, most of them) with incredible speed and talent. They're like little iPod cozy and hacky sack factories now!
Yesterday I had the blessing of being able to just sit and chat with one of my students for a class period. I had a prep period and was grading some projects while my co-op worked on some things in another room. One of our students came to the classroom during her study hall to work on her crochet (she's making a beret, and she's pretty much an all-star) and I got to just listen to her tell me about her family, her hopes for the future, and her faith. Like....tada! Here it is! I use the word blessing to describe that, because it really was. I'm so honored that she wanted to share that with me, and furthermore, that I would even get that experience while student teaching is just so amazing to me. It reminds me that teachers are more than people who hand out knowledge. I want to know my students, not just teach them.
So other than that, life is going well. It's moving quickly, too. I'm graduating in 2 weeks from Saturday, my senior art show opens this Sunday, and I'm finishing up the last of my homework this week.
And Thanksgiving? It was wonderful. I much-needed break to spend with my family and start to sort out some of that future stuff. While there's still much uncertainty about where I'm going to be, I think some of the pieces are starting to fall into place. And I'm content with that much.
December 3, 2009
October 19, 2009
I'm kind of failing at this, aren't I?
Wow, it's been a while. Sorry about that! I think about writing, but then I go and do something else, like write a lesson plan or something crazy like that.
Student teaching is flying by! I'm finishing up with my first placement this week. In fact, because it's a six-day cycle, I'm saying goodbyes all week to my students. It's pretty sad. I've been given drawings, cards, hugs, and even a round of applause from my students...in addition to a lot of other less tangible lessons. They're crazy, their lives are impossibly hard, but they're so sweet and they work so hard! Well...most of them do. I'm feeling sentimental, so I'm being a bit generous.
Other than teaching, my life is pretty normal...I went home last weekend and went to see Where the Wild Things Are with Ken, HS Beth and Anna. It was, um, kind of a downer. I mean, it was beautiful and well done, toed the line between sweetly heartbreaking and devastatingly painful. There's kind of a sinister thread that runs through the whole thing, with each wild, childlike scene reminding you of how cruel and broken childhood can be. By the end HS Beth and I were both tearing up while my sister tapped me and saying "WHY IS THE MONSTER CRYING???" I wanted to answer her with "Because life is awful and broken and relationships are impossibly complicated!" but I settled for "Because...um...because he's sad." Or something.
This Saturday I'm going with the Thayers to visit Whit, and I'm going to Virginia next weekend...so things are picking up! And starting next Monday I make the switch from poor, Hispanic, elementary school to rich, white, high school. So that should be interesting for sure...
Student teaching is flying by! I'm finishing up with my first placement this week. In fact, because it's a six-day cycle, I'm saying goodbyes all week to my students. It's pretty sad. I've been given drawings, cards, hugs, and even a round of applause from my students...in addition to a lot of other less tangible lessons. They're crazy, their lives are impossibly hard, but they're so sweet and they work so hard! Well...most of them do. I'm feeling sentimental, so I'm being a bit generous.
Other than teaching, my life is pretty normal...I went home last weekend and went to see Where the Wild Things Are with Ken, HS Beth and Anna. It was, um, kind of a downer. I mean, it was beautiful and well done, toed the line between sweetly heartbreaking and devastatingly painful. There's kind of a sinister thread that runs through the whole thing, with each wild, childlike scene reminding you of how cruel and broken childhood can be. By the end HS Beth and I were both tearing up while my sister tapped me and saying "WHY IS THE MONSTER CRYING???" I wanted to answer her with "Because life is awful and broken and relationships are impossibly complicated!" but I settled for "Because...um...because he's sad." Or something.
This Saturday I'm going with the Thayers to visit Whit, and I'm going to Virginia next weekend...so things are picking up! And starting next Monday I make the switch from poor, Hispanic, elementary school to rich, white, high school. So that should be interesting for sure...
September 19, 2009
Really, iTunes?!?
Unbelievable.
Other than having the worst recommendations EVER from iTunes, my life is good. Teaching the little babies has been educational, to say the least. Today I had lunch with my former CIT director, which was wonderful. And tonight I might go to a FIGHTNIGHT PARTY.
So yeah, life is good!
September 5, 2009
What Will Stay?
I feel like I must update this more when I'm at home than any other time! Well, maybe it just feels that way because I've been so busy lately. A short update:
I moved to Lancatser last weekend and got started with my student teaching on Wednesday. The kids are adorable! I'm in Lebanon at an elementary school where the kids are primarily Hispanic and totally cute. Seriously, the first graders melted my heart a little. Sadly, the school has struggled to make AYP with their test scores for the last several years, and they've cut the art program to the point where I only see each class once every 6 days for a grand total of 30 minutes. Imagine trying to teach anything to a group of 8 year olds in 30 minutes, let alone the prep/clean up that's required for an art class! But it's a challenge I'm excited to face. My co-op is great, and even though it's kind of a long commute (around an hour each way), the time in the car is good time to mentally prepare for the day and to debrief when it's all over.
I had a four day weekend this weekend, which seemed a little silly, but it'll be a good way to ease into the student teaching. Yesterday, I had lunch with Amanda in Lancaster and then drove home through some holiday traffic.
So now I'm home. For a lot of reasons, being home right now is really good and really hard. There are some potential changes happening in my family that will be great in the long term, but are hard to process today. I'm sorry for being vague; nothing bad is happening or going on...just some thoughts my parents have been having about THE FUTURE. Good thoughts, but still...change is hard.
And today is hard. It's been 15 years since my mom passed away, as of today. For that reason, home is where I need to be today. I'm able to spend time remembering in the right context...but that somehow makes it more difficult. Walking around my house and being in places where my mom used to be...well, it's just hard to comprehend sometimes. And 15 years? That's a lot, too. I can't really believe I've lived this much of my life without her..and yet, it seems only natural, too. What else have I known? But even though today is painful, it is good to spend time remembering.
I moved to Lancatser last weekend and got started with my student teaching on Wednesday. The kids are adorable! I'm in Lebanon at an elementary school where the kids are primarily Hispanic and totally cute. Seriously, the first graders melted my heart a little. Sadly, the school has struggled to make AYP with their test scores for the last several years, and they've cut the art program to the point where I only see each class once every 6 days for a grand total of 30 minutes. Imagine trying to teach anything to a group of 8 year olds in 30 minutes, let alone the prep/clean up that's required for an art class! But it's a challenge I'm excited to face. My co-op is great, and even though it's kind of a long commute (around an hour each way), the time in the car is good time to mentally prepare for the day and to debrief when it's all over.
I had a four day weekend this weekend, which seemed a little silly, but it'll be a good way to ease into the student teaching. Yesterday, I had lunch with Amanda in Lancaster and then drove home through some holiday traffic.
So now I'm home. For a lot of reasons, being home right now is really good and really hard. There are some potential changes happening in my family that will be great in the long term, but are hard to process today. I'm sorry for being vague; nothing bad is happening or going on...just some thoughts my parents have been having about THE FUTURE. Good thoughts, but still...change is hard.
And today is hard. It's been 15 years since my mom passed away, as of today. For that reason, home is where I need to be today. I'm able to spend time remembering in the right context...but that somehow makes it more difficult. Walking around my house and being in places where my mom used to be...well, it's just hard to comprehend sometimes. And 15 years? That's a lot, too. I can't really believe I've lived this much of my life without her..and yet, it seems only natural, too. What else have I known? But even though today is painful, it is good to spend time remembering.
August 17, 2009
11 Weeks Later...
Well, I'm home. What a summer.
It was difficult. I'm exhausted.
I forgot about the physical work that is the CIT job. I forgot how exhausting it is to clean 350 dishes after every meal, or to scrub every sink, toilet and shower, or to sweep...everything. By week 11 I didn't want to touch another dish or broom again. My feet and back and hands ached by the end of each day. But through all of that exhaustion and pain, the Lord gave me deep satisfaction. There's something amazing about watching all of that work get done in a little amount of time. Watching hundreds of bowls and plates go from being disgusting to completely clean in a mere hour is almost miraculous. Doing these jobs was a reminder that God created us to be people who work. And yes, there were days (especially by the end) where it got harder and harder to take joy in work, but I loved being able to come home and think about all of the things I'd done that day.
And for all of the physical exhaustion, there was the emotional and spiritual exhaustion that comes from living in tight community for a long period of time. Ministering to the girls and trying to meet their needs as a mentor and friend took all that I had. I learned quickly that "all that I had" wasn't very much, so the Lord had to step in for the rest. Living in community also means that, eventually, you're going to see and experience your own brokenness and the brokenness of the people around you. I learned so much about intentional community this summer; how do we address our brokenness with each other? How can I meet your needs, and how can you meet mine? What a blessing to be able to ask those questions of people who know me and love me. And what a blessing to know that we are able to know and love each other because we are known and loved by the Father first.
I'm still reflecting a lot about this summer. I loved my job so much. I loved working with Geraud, I loved living with Lauren, I loved being with my CITs, and more than all of those things, I'm seeing (and loving) how the Lord is transforming me in real and concrete ways.
I learned more this summer than I could'v hoped for, and more than I've been able to fully process. Last night, Whitney spent the night at my house and we just debriefed the summer for a few hours. It was a blessing to verbally process the things that are happening...I'm excited to keep doing that.
Camp happened. It happened in a big, big way...I'm glad it happened, I'm glad I got to be a part of its happening, and I'm glad - in some ways - that it's no longer happening. It's time for the next stuff to happen.
But for right now I'm sleepy and ready to do nothing for a while. I've made plans and committments to friends with whom I'm going to be intentional, and I'm ready to spend some time with my family. I might go to Pittsburgh this week for a Pirates game, and Washington over the weekend for a Steelers/Redskins preseason game. I might go to the Thayers after that and spend some time with my second family :)
It's good to be home, even if it's a tough transition to be away from so many people whom I love...but the Lord is faithful and I'm where I need to be.
It was difficult. I'm exhausted.
I forgot about the physical work that is the CIT job. I forgot how exhausting it is to clean 350 dishes after every meal, or to scrub every sink, toilet and shower, or to sweep...everything. By week 11 I didn't want to touch another dish or broom again. My feet and back and hands ached by the end of each day. But through all of that exhaustion and pain, the Lord gave me deep satisfaction. There's something amazing about watching all of that work get done in a little amount of time. Watching hundreds of bowls and plates go from being disgusting to completely clean in a mere hour is almost miraculous. Doing these jobs was a reminder that God created us to be people who work. And yes, there were days (especially by the end) where it got harder and harder to take joy in work, but I loved being able to come home and think about all of the things I'd done that day.
And for all of the physical exhaustion, there was the emotional and spiritual exhaustion that comes from living in tight community for a long period of time. Ministering to the girls and trying to meet their needs as a mentor and friend took all that I had. I learned quickly that "all that I had" wasn't very much, so the Lord had to step in for the rest. Living in community also means that, eventually, you're going to see and experience your own brokenness and the brokenness of the people around you. I learned so much about intentional community this summer; how do we address our brokenness with each other? How can I meet your needs, and how can you meet mine? What a blessing to be able to ask those questions of people who know me and love me. And what a blessing to know that we are able to know and love each other because we are known and loved by the Father first.
I'm still reflecting a lot about this summer. I loved my job so much. I loved working with Geraud, I loved living with Lauren, I loved being with my CITs, and more than all of those things, I'm seeing (and loving) how the Lord is transforming me in real and concrete ways.
I learned more this summer than I could'v hoped for, and more than I've been able to fully process. Last night, Whitney spent the night at my house and we just debriefed the summer for a few hours. It was a blessing to verbally process the things that are happening...I'm excited to keep doing that.
Camp happened. It happened in a big, big way...I'm glad it happened, I'm glad I got to be a part of its happening, and I'm glad - in some ways - that it's no longer happening. It's time for the next stuff to happen.
But for right now I'm sleepy and ready to do nothing for a while. I've made plans and committments to friends with whom I'm going to be intentional, and I'm ready to spend some time with my family. I might go to Pittsburgh this week for a Pirates game, and Washington over the weekend for a Steelers/Redskins preseason game. I might go to the Thayers after that and spend some time with my second family :)
It's good to be home, even if it's a tough transition to be away from so many people whom I love...but the Lord is faithful and I'm where I need to be.
May 29, 2009
Aaaaaand, I'm OFF!
I leave for camp today! Which means I may or may not write in this blog...but that's okay. Because the summer is going to be wonderful!
If you think of it, it'd be awesome to have prayer for the campers and staff as we work to do some serious ministry this summer. Please be praying for effective training, safe travels, and open hearts that we would hear God's word and be struck by it anew. And pray for safe activities - from rafting to paintball to GOLDRUSH! The Lord prepared some incredible things for this summer, and I'm SO excited to see what those are going to be!
If you think of it, it'd be awesome to have prayer for the campers and staff as we work to do some serious ministry this summer. Please be praying for effective training, safe travels, and open hearts that we would hear God's word and be struck by it anew. And pray for safe activities - from rafting to paintball to GOLDRUSH! The Lord prepared some incredible things for this summer, and I'm SO excited to see what those are going to be!
May 25, 2009
Memorials
Well, I'm in the home stretch before it's time for camp...I head out on Friday, which means I need to spend this week organizing and packing up my stuff for the summer. It's hard to believe it's already time for this; I feel like last summer just ended! But on the other hand, I'm getting almost giddy with excitement...Friday can't come soon enough!
So today is Memorial Day. Yesterday in church we had a supply pastor filling the pulpit because our pastor is continuing education in Georgia or something. And yesterday had two possible directions it could've gone in: Ascension Day or Memorial Day. We went the Memorial Day route.
Ugh.
I'll clarify the "ugh." I put a lot of stock in Memorial Day. I have a lot of important people to remember today. I'll go visit a grave, I'll take flowers, I'll remember my loved ones. I know that, traditionally, this day is meant to honor veterans and their sacrifice for our country - I'm fine with that too. It's important to remember the cost of war (though I think it's quite telling of our culture that we find it so easy to forget that cost - casualties from both sides, that is). Here's where Memorial Day get's mucky for me: when it becomes GOD BLESS AMERICA (AND NO WHERE ELSE) Day.
The pastor who preached yesterday didn't really hammer that point home, for which I'm grateful. However, he spent little to no time discussing scripture and a whole lot of time talking about remembering the cost of freedom. You want to talk about that? Fine! But don't do it from the pulpit. God's heart breaks for our lost ones as much as it breaks for the soldiers on the other side of the line. We're not a country executing vigilante justice, or the swift hand of our angry God. We're a nation of broken people, who ask for God's blessing because of our brokenness. Not because of our awesomeness. So when we spend our Sundays contemplating how our nation is out there "puttin' a boot in the ass" of terror, I think we're focusing on the wrong thing.
We should ask God to bless America because we, like all people, need God's blessing. Not because we're the only country in this world who's finally got it right. Because...well, we haven't.
ANYWAY. I'm probably preaching to the choir on that one, but whatever. Now I'm going to go enjoy my Memorial Day! I have loved ones to remember, and loved ones to be with. I hope you can do the same :)
So today is Memorial Day. Yesterday in church we had a supply pastor filling the pulpit because our pastor is continuing education in Georgia or something. And yesterday had two possible directions it could've gone in: Ascension Day or Memorial Day. We went the Memorial Day route.
Ugh.
I'll clarify the "ugh." I put a lot of stock in Memorial Day. I have a lot of important people to remember today. I'll go visit a grave, I'll take flowers, I'll remember my loved ones. I know that, traditionally, this day is meant to honor veterans and their sacrifice for our country - I'm fine with that too. It's important to remember the cost of war (though I think it's quite telling of our culture that we find it so easy to forget that cost - casualties from both sides, that is). Here's where Memorial Day get's mucky for me: when it becomes GOD BLESS AMERICA (AND NO WHERE ELSE) Day.
The pastor who preached yesterday didn't really hammer that point home, for which I'm grateful. However, he spent little to no time discussing scripture and a whole lot of time talking about remembering the cost of freedom. You want to talk about that? Fine! But don't do it from the pulpit. God's heart breaks for our lost ones as much as it breaks for the soldiers on the other side of the line. We're not a country executing vigilante justice, or the swift hand of our angry God. We're a nation of broken people, who ask for God's blessing because of our brokenness. Not because of our awesomeness. So when we spend our Sundays contemplating how our nation is out there "puttin' a boot in the ass" of terror, I think we're focusing on the wrong thing.
We should ask God to bless America because we, like all people, need God's blessing. Not because we're the only country in this world who's finally got it right. Because...well, we haven't.
ANYWAY. I'm probably preaching to the choir on that one, but whatever. Now I'm going to go enjoy my Memorial Day! I have loved ones to remember, and loved ones to be with. I hope you can do the same :)
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