What Will Stay?

I feel like I must update this more when I'm at home than any other time! Well, maybe it just feels that way because I've been so busy lately. A short update:

I moved to Lancatser last weekend and got started with my student teaching on Wednesday. The kids are adorable! I'm in Lebanon at an elementary school where the kids are primarily Hispanic and totally cute. Seriously, the first graders melted my heart a little. Sadly, the school has struggled to make AYP with their test scores for the last several years, and they've cut the art program to the point where I only see each class once every 6 days for a grand total of 30 minutes. Imagine trying to teach anything to a group of 8 year olds in 30 minutes, let alone the prep/clean up that's required for an art class! But it's a challenge I'm excited to face. My co-op is great, and even though it's kind of a long commute (around an hour each way), the time in the car is good time to mentally prepare for the day and to debrief when it's all over.

I had a four day weekend this weekend, which seemed a little silly, but it'll be a good way to ease into the student teaching. Yesterday, I had lunch with Amanda in Lancaster and then drove home through some holiday traffic.

So now I'm home. For a lot of reasons, being home right now is really good and really hard. There are some potential changes happening in my family that will be great in the long term, but are hard to process today. I'm sorry for being vague; nothing bad is happening or going on...just some thoughts my parents have been having about THE FUTURE. Good thoughts, but still...change is hard.

And today is hard. It's been 15 years since my mom passed away, as of today. For that reason, home is where I need to be today. I'm able to spend time remembering in the right context...but that somehow makes it more difficult. Walking around my house and being in places where my mom used to be...well, it's just hard to comprehend sometimes. And 15 years? That's a lot, too. I can't really believe I've lived this much of my life without her..and yet, it seems only natural, too. What else have I known? But even though today is painful, it is good to spend time remembering.