Oh dear...

I have a problem.



All I want to do is knit stuffed animals.


Maybe this stems from my long-time love of stuffed animals as a child. I owned hundreds of them. You know those little nets you could hang in your room and fill with toys? Mine was so full of fluffy friends that the hooks pulled out of the walls. I could barely sleep on my bed, and I LOVED it.



And this all started innocently enough, with little Rascal, who I shared with you earlier. I knitted Anna another kitty (he's purple and yellow, and he still needs a name...suggestions are still welcome) and all was well. And then, I found this website and...well...I've only made the birdies because I'm running out of stuffing, but folks, it's not looking good.



I might be investing in one of those stuffed animal hammocks again soon...either that, or everyone i know will be getting little birdies in the mail!

Ash Wednesday

During my senior year of high school, a friend and I decided to fast on Ash Wednesday. To me it seemed like no big deal. We'll just be hungry and tomorrow we'll have breakfast and that will be the end of it. Everything went according to plan - we didn't meet for breakfast that day, we attended the school's chapel service and got the ashy smudge on our foreheads, we didn't eat. Well, sort of. At around 4 o'clock, my friend went through quite an ordeal. She'd begun to feel lightheaded and woozy, and decided that she'd better eat a few Triscuts. After doing so, she was wracked with guilt - so much so that she called her mom in tears, confessing that she'd broken her fast.

Now, we all had a good laugh about it the next day over breakfast (which is what we were officially doing: breaking our fast). It seemed much less grave after we'd eaten our waffles. Why was she so torn up over a few Triscuts?

The further I get from that incident, the more I realize that my friend was delving deeper into the discipline of fasting than I was. I secretly patted myself on the back for outlasting her that day. "Look at me," I thought, "I can handle this fast. Not a big deal at all." But while I may have physically fasted, I certainly did not spiritually fast.

So what is fasting? Why do we do it? And does God really care about clandestine Triscuts in the afternoon?

Christian fasting, particularly Lenten fasting, is rooted in Christ's fasting in the wilderness after his baptism. Those 40 days and 40 nights are refleclected in our 40-day (not including Sundays) period of Lent, where Christians often "give up" something in rememberance of Jesus' sacrifice. I've found that often, at least for me, my choices of what to "give up" for Lent revolve around my own self-betterment. What vices should I abandon for 40 days? And is my willpower strong enough? Often it is my will, not the Lord's will. And furthermore, when I am tempted by those vices, I look once again to my own ability to resist them.

While considering these things, I turned to the book Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner. Winner, a former Orthodox Jew-turned-Christian, writes about Jewish spiritual disciplines and their redemption and place in Christianity. Winner shares a story similar to that of my high school friend. Once, while in college, she ate a salami sandwich during the Fast of Esther, one of the required Orthodox Jewish fasts. Later, she asked a rabbi about whether or not God cared about this sandwich. His response:

"When you are fasting," he said, "and you feel hungry, you are to remember that you are really hungry for God."

And that, I realized, is what I missed during that first Ash Wednesday fast in high school. I was hungry, and I let my willpower carry me through. My friend was hungry, ate, and realized that she allowed her body to rule over what her spirit told her. She recognized her hunger for God, where I just recognized my awesomeness. Mudhouse Sabbath again:

"Rabbi M's words make it clear that, like the liturgy, the fast accomplishes a repositioning. When I am sated, it is easy to feel independent. When I am hungry, it is possible to remember where my dependence lies."

Today, I'm fasting again. I'm trying to look at it not as a battle of my will vs. my stomach. I'm trying to see it as my hunger for God, made corporal.

Rascal, the Knitted Kitty

My sister's 8th birthday is coming up. What do you get for the little girl who has everything, and who only wants MORE High School Musical stuff? The answer? Meet Rascal, the Knitted Kitty:



He's cute, isn't he?

Yesterday I stumbled upon the pattern to make Rascal. It's SO simple! You can find the pattern here.



Making Rascal was a lot of fun, mostly because it doesn't take very long. I'm a novice knitter, and it shows in some ways. Rascal is a little wonky and lumpy, but he's still cute.



I'll be making my sister a different knitted kitty, now that I have a feel for the pattern and so on. Hers will probably be purple or blue.



I love making hand-made gifts for people. This year for Christmas, I think I only bought one or two gifts for my friends and family. Being an art major means I get to spend my time making things that end up being pretty good gifts for my loved ones. But I love making something especially for someone. There's something special that happens while you're creating something with a person in mind; you spend that time thinking about them, praying for them, and loving them - even from afar.



And if YOU want to learn how to make a knitted kitty, you can do it! Just go to that link. You know, the one up there! Or the one right here! And if you're thinking that you'd like to make a knitted kitty, but you can't knit...well, just learn! It's a pretty easy thing to do...I'm sure there's a little old lady at your church or in your community that would love to teach you. And, if that doesn't pan out, the Internet is FULL of knitting help. There are videos, tutorials, forums and tons of blogs devoted to the craft. Most of my knitting knowledge came from the power of Googling. So just...do it! It's a ton of fun.

Finally, I need to think of a name for the kitty I give my sister, unless I want all my hard work to be named "Troy" from High School Musical. So if you have any creative kitty names, feel free to share them!

Persecution, the Church...and Watercolor

It's Sunday! And I went to a different church this morning (I do that a lot - mostly because I'm not here much on the weekends, so I don't really have a "church home" here)

Sadly, the service I attended today set my teeth on edge. I'm not sure if I my response is entirely justified or Biblical; sometimes my personal values and beliefs cloud what is true. But sometimes I think my response is grounded in truth...and I think today that was the case.

Now, I'm SURE this church is rooted in the Bible. They are brothers and sisters in faith. They seek after the Lord. They want to love Him and serve Him; I acknowledge that wholeheartedly. But today's sermon frustrated me in many ways. The preacher spoke on the passage in John where Christ warns his disciples of persecution due to their faith (the end of chapter 15 and the first few verses of 16). The crux of the sermon was that we, as American Christians, are persecuted by those who hate the faith - particularly those in our government. There was lots of talk about things like pro-life pastors being arrested for protesting, laws being passed that "attacked the faith" and so forth. The pastor suggested that we should all be memorizing scripture not because it is important to have the Word in our hearts, but because one day (possibly soon!) being a Christian may be illegal in our nation.

What.

To suggest that the greatest dangers facing the American Church today come at the hands of our government is foolishness, to me. That kind of religious-right agenda puts a bad taste in my mouth, and in the mouths of many. Sure, there is merit to discussing issues like abortion - but there is much more than just that.

The American Church (oh what a varied body she is!) cannot wallow in its "persecution." We cannot point fingers at atheists, or pro-choice people, or our government. The dangers facing our church are much deeper and much closer to home than that. The dangers in our church come from within - from apathy, complacency, from being satisfied with the status quo. They come from our culture of consumption, entitlement and me-first-me-only thinking. They come from alienating others with a message of hate, or - on the other side - from being passive and postmodern in our approach to the gospel.

There is so much work to be done. Work that goes beyond mailing postcards of fetuses to senators. Work that involves loving others, not shouting at them. And even if I don't share the views of this church (I'm one of those Demi-crats, you know), I am as much a part of the problem. I know that I fail to meet the demands of the gospel. I am broken, too.

That being said...the rest of my Sunday has been enjoyable! And really, even If i don't agree with that church on that, it gave me something to think about. And that's a good thing. After church I had lunch with my roommate and some of her friends, and I just finished a watercolor!



See, there it is! I was really nervous about watercolor before I started this semester. I'm an oil painter usually, and the method is very, VERY different. But I'm starting to get the hang of it, which makes it much more enjoyable, that's for sure.

So now I'm just going to enjoy the rest of my Sabbath. I might make some granny squares, or do a crossword, or call a friend. It's a nice, snowy day to enjoy.

Baby Whale!

Listen. If you can look at these pictures and not fall in love with this baby whale, there is something wrong with you.



I mean, look at that smile!!

And before you get all judgmental and say things like "Stef, why are there baby whale pictures on your blog? What do they have to do with anything? What kind of free time do you have, that you can find and blog about pictures of baby whales?" I will explain to you that I have a theory that the Internet itself is built by pictures of people dressing up their pets in costumes. So sometimes it's necessary for me to do research about the internet's construction. Secondly, I have a habit of finding and sending these images to a friend of mine who claims to be repulsed by many of them. But I think she secretly loves them. She loves them when they're of bunnies, but when I send her chinchillas wearing hula outfits (that's for real) or BABY WHALES she's unimpressed.

Her feelings about the whale:
"He looks emaciated."

"Days With My Father"

I just found a website that is poignant, beautiful, and downright depressing.

http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/

It's a photojournal of a man's father, who is now 98, living without his wife and without much in the way of short-term memory. It's pretty incredible. To navigate the site, just move your cursor to the bottom of the page, and click to move to the next picture.

But to warn you, you might tear up.


My day was good today - I taught at the Swain School all day. Well, actually I did a lot of observing/helping today, but I did a demo for some 5th graders. They're learning to make gargoyles out of air-dry clay, so I made one to show them the process. And it was fun...big time! The air-dry clay isn't like regular clay (which is kiln fired) and isn't like modeling clay (which never dries because of its oil base), but has the texture of modeling clay with the benefit of drying completely in about a week. So next week, I'll have my very own gargoyle. I sound like a little kid, talking about it! But it's pretty sweet, quite frankly.

I also had a few frustrating moments today: an unpleasant phone conversation, a lot of exhaustion, feeling a bit under the weather, and some windy cold weather that makes standing outside pretty painful. But I have one class tomorrow and then a whole weekend to recover! Which might result in a lot of blog posts, because I don't have much going on...just some watercolor painting. And good things happened today too, like gargoyles, a cool lecture this evening, and a nice phone conversation with Laur.

Finally, I talked to my Grandma Walker tonight. She's THE BEST. We usually talk every Sunday at 5, but last weekend I was returning from Jubilee, and this weekend she'll be in Charlottesville, VA visiting my aunt and her family. So we caught up tonight, which is wonderful. My grandfather's birthday (we call him Pepop) is coming up in March, and Grandma asked me to read a poem at his birthday party. So I have to find a suitable poem...suggestions are welcome! I feel like the pressure is on, because Pepop be lovin' the poetry. I don't want to bring something lame, you know?

The Internet is Somethin' Else: Creating a Fake Band & Album

Sometimes I find interesting things on the internet...and what better place to share those things than RIGHT HERE?

So here are the rules:

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it